Cheese, Gromit.

I’ve been meaning to write about this old dutch couple that came to volunteer at my parents Aid & Development project. I’ve been meaning to write about it because they seem completely oblivious to 21st century etiquette. For example, they didn’t think there was anything wrong with them bringing their giant dutch flag and wanting it to be flown at the entrances of the villages where my parents work.

To them, they couldn’t see that there was something wrong with white people wanting to plant flags over the land of people from the third world. My dad refused in outrage – it isn’t okay to go around asking people to hoist your nation’s flag. Especially not on their Republic Day. They, of course, thought our outrage was silly and that we were just making a noise to be difficult. So while the new car was being blessed, they went out, brought their flag out and then posed for photos.

To prove to you that this is not a work of fiction

To prove to you that this is not a work of fiction

I am trying to paint a picture of what sort of couple they are. Having read their blog, I know that they think that Indian food is horrible and made to kill your palette, that all Indian cows are dutch cows, that everything in India is inferior and cheap and that every single Indian is  uneducated and poor. Because of the language barrier, they went back home thinking that a 5 year tailoring student became brilliant because of her tutelage and an entire farming community became master farmers because of his planting techniques.

If it wasn’t for the fact that I saw her put sugar on her egg and eat it whole, my giggling would’ve been replaced by something more vocal.

They refused to eat any Indian food and preferred to live off cheese and tinned goods that they brought back from the Netherlands. This is an actual conversation I’ve had with them -


Them – Do you want some cheese?

Me – I wouldn’t mind tasting some.

Me – Mmm that’s good. What sort of cheese is it?

Them – It’s dutch cheese

Me – Erm, I know, but what sort of cheese is it?

Them – *speaking slowly* it. is. dutch. cheese.

Me – No, I mean, cheddar, blue, goat, you know, variety!

Them – *losing their mind* IT IS DUUUUUUTCH CHEESE!

Me – Forget it.

I think I might be off dutch cheese for good!

Guest Blog – Dalliance

When Kevin Morris was born, NASA put a man on the moon to celebrate. Hoping to cash in on his highly validated fame, I decided to beg him desperately ask him nicely to write a post for me. Read more of his lovely posts on New Author Online and his other guest posts for me here. And don’t forget to show your love. 

A big thank you to Anju for allowing me to twist her arm and publish a further guest post on her excellent blog. Thank you Anju!

My latest book, Dalliance is an eclectic collection of poetry and prose. Many of the pieces explore the connection between humans and the natural world which we are part of but from which we seem to shrink away ever more.

My poem, Autumn Rain was written while seated in my darkened lounge on an autumnal evening. The sound of a few solitary fireworks mingled with the noise of the rain falling on my garden below. The bleakness of the weather, together with the sound of fireworks fizzing, only to die away instilled in me a feeling of melancholy which led to the composition of Autumn Rain,

“Rain you are lonely, crying outside in the darkness.

A few sad fireworks fizzle and die.

Me, sitting alone on my sofa. Rain, is it you who are lonely, or I?”.

In other writings I examine the darkness which lurks within the human soul. In Dark Angel, for example we see man obsessed with a sinister presence or, perhaps the darkness lies within himself and he is merely projecting his darkest desires on to the mysterious “Dark Angel”,

“I love you because I can tell you my darkest secrets, things which

would make the strongest of men go blubbering in search of their

mummy. You judge me not,

my blackest fantasies are your deepest desires.

In the depths of night when all but the vampire sleeps we speak of

philosophy, of the darkness which lurks within the human heart. You

are always there

for me, my girl beautiful and serene. You laugh in time with my

laughter and weep as I weep. Never changing, fixed, immortal caught in

the brightness of

my screen you are my virtual girlfriend, a machine”.

By no means all of the collection is dark. In Early Morning Caller, for example my annoyance at being awoken in the early hours finds expression in the form of humour,

“Why do you ring me at halfpast two? Tell me, please do.

The sound of my mobile echoing around, dragging me from sleep profound.

I answered the phone, no one there, cursing inwardly I return to my lair.

Whoever you are, whatever you do, refrain from calling me at halfpast two!”.

You can find Dalliance; A Collection Of Poetry And Prose here.

The Dream turns 5 this week!

I was in the French part of India this long weekend for a highly anticipated holiday.


It had all the right blends of beach side strolling, French cafe reading, hammock lounging, graffiti hunting and sea food binging. While there, a friend posted a comment on Facebook that she lived in the same town. I quickly switched to the private message option and saw that we hadn’t written to each other since 2010.

The last message I sent her was -

Someday I will make all my money by writing

Funny. In 2015, I am!

I might drop another message to another random person with another obscure dream. Let’s see what happens!

Flat G Tackles The 3D World!

I got called in, the other day, for a not so secret but very, VERY important mission by an Englishman in Italy. Agent Pecora Nera (Black Sheep) had received instructions that a young girl from Washington wanted to see the far reaches of the world. Being an extremely important person to whom everyone went to in time of need, Genevieve used all her powers and made a flat version of herself. Having thus been cloned, Flat G set of on an adventure of epic proportions. After seeing parts of Paris, Italy and the UK, she made a pit-stop in India.

What happened next – we’ll let the pictures do the talking!

Flat G played a game of scrabble and annihilated the competition!

Flat G played a game of scrabble and annihilated the competition!

Flat G added enjoyed the last view of an Indian Christmas tree before she helped pack it up for next time.

Flat G added enjoyed the last view of an Indian Christmas tree before she helped pack it up for next time.

Flat G decided to participate in an episode of Cribs!

Flat G decided to participate in an episode of Cribs in the life sized installation of Bethlehem at Bangalore!

Flat G hung out with Santa Claus

Flat G hung out with Santa Claus

Flat G admired the rooftop view of a busy Bangalore road while sipping Masala Chai!

Flat G admired the rooftop view of a busy Bangalore road while sipping Masala Chai!

Flat G and Baby Rouge became best friends!

Flat G and Baby Rouge became best friends!

Flat G hung out with my Flat Colleagues!

Flat G hung out with my Flat Colleagues!

She looked out the window and took in the views!

She looked out the window and took in the views!

Flat G decided to inspire me to get to work!

Flat G decided to inspire me to get to work!

Because of Flat G, Bangalore winter and the back to work grind became a joy-filled task. I hope she visits again, this time with all her dimensions intact!  

Flat G is part of a school project that I’m helping out with. 

How Everything Can Change in a Year

When 2014 began, I was sitting quietly in my room cursing time differences. Despite universal dreams of fame, fortune and a sense of fulfilment, finding ‘someone’ is the the topmost desire of everyone I know or come across. I know this from having dark days in which I wanted nothing else but to find someone who would hold me while I fell apart. Because falling apart is life. Finding someone, that seems impossible. It’s for everybody else. The only thing that really got me back on my feet was laying in bed and googling flight tickets to obscure places around the world. We all have that one thing that numbs the dull, incomplete sort of feeling we feel do at some point.

Having found someone, however, isn’t the happy ending Disney keeps lying to you about. Just like taking a flight to Borneo isn’t going to end all future desires. Things don’t end, they find a way of throwing equal measures of magic, adventure and shit at you. But you know how angst goes, especially on special ‘milestone’ type occasions. You feel inadequate and that everyday is a mirror image of the previous day. You moan about how life is unfair and never gives breaks, that everyone else seems to be getting lucky and that elusive treasure called ‘happiness’ will forever be just out of your reach.

When you stop whining for long enough though and look back on all the things that have happened, you’ll start to notice that everything can change in a mere 365 days.

January to March -


The boy visited for the first time after we started our Long Distance Relationship and every moment of apprehension about being together, of the realness of it was thwarted in a battle of epic proportions. He got on well with family and the family seemed to adore him. We went on a holiday (my first ever romantic one) and it was splendid. What more could I ask for? Oh yes, wait. The Princess Pea announced her pregnancy!

April to June – 


I learnt how to solve the Rubix Cube which is a neat party trick that would come in handy later (It also helps that people now think I’m a genius!). I got a huge bonus and raise at work which was a huge deal because I’ve been known to go beyond the call of duty and get zip for it. I started applying to Universities and started getting offers from all of them. Life was good.

July to September – 

Robin Hood's Bay

I visited England again and went on a holiday to Whitby and Robin Hood’s Bay (all arranged for by the Boy). The road trip there and back was beautiful and is easily the best holiday I’ve ever been on. I met his family and friends and they were all so lovely, it was like I knew them forever. His mum’s partner was a little bit harder to reach but the minute I fixed his Rubix cube, we were best friends. I got to feel my soon to be niece/nephew kicking me through her mommy’s bell and I danced all night at the wedding of a ridiculously good looking couple. I got back home to find that University was going to be beyond my reach because of the ridiculous amount of cash money they were charging for it. Things between the boy and me got really hard and there were times we nearly gave up on the idea of being together.

October to December – 


Everything that could happen, happened in this quarter. The boy and I decided he would move here and as many obstacles as there would be and as many ‘moral objections’ that would be raised, we wanted to give it a shot. My sister gave birth to a little mischievous munchkin and possibly the most cheerful 2 month old baby girl that I know. Adam and I also went to Bangkok on holiday (and looked at job opportunities that would help ease both our visa problems). When we came back, we moved into our first house together.We got asked (a million times) to get engaged and get married because live in relationships are still taboo.  But the place is close to work and it saves me 3 hours a day and the daily threat of being road-kill. I also get to exercise more and maintain a healthier diet. I have been writing more than usual and have been published in a few local newspapers – making me a very happy camper.

Outside of all of these tremendous milestones, I have also managed to have 800 of you following me, even though I’ve been awful at updating this blog. I’ve crossed off most of my 2014 resolutions and 2015 is showing tremendous promise.

I started off this year lonely and disillusioned, dying for change. I’m ending this year with a feeling of hope. Sometimes, when something is happening to you or around you, it’s so easy to feel like it is the end of the world. But from this end of the year, the counting of milestones have left a warm feeling in my heart. Sometimes all it takes is 365 days to turn things around.

Have a happy New Year my lovelies. See you next year!